The Seattle Times features a write-up each day in which readers air their gripes (rants) or praises (raves). For reasons I do not understand, I never fail to read that space-filler column.
Each morning I am amazed that people are offended by everything and/or nothing at all. Just stand at your window to check the weather and some nosey neighbor will complain that you are a nosey neighbor and ought to be horsewhipped and thrown in jail. Water your lawn, and someone will be offended that you are contributing to worldwide hunger and that you are a thoughtless and profligate waster. Refuse to water your lawn, and someone will complain that your property is an eyesore in the community and that you should be horsewhipped and jailed. In an act of kindness, you slow down a bit on the freeway to allow another motorist to merge, but the driver behind you rages and blasts his horn and shows you one of his fingers because he now must drive slightly below the speed limit. Feed the pigeons in the park, and someone will demand that you stop destroying the ecosystem. On a cold winter’s day, idle your car engine before pulling out of the driveway, and someone will allege that you are destroying the ecosystem. Give a dollar to a panhandler, and someone will disapprove on the grounds that you are encouraging quitters. You make the mistake of placing glass in the wrong recycling bin, and someone will claim you are destroying the ecosystem. It is inescapable. Someone will be displeased with you each day no matter what you do. You are a horrible person for doing what you did or for not doing what you should have done. In either case, someone will be displeased and demand that you be horsewhipped and thrown in jail.
It should be no surprise that most raves come from acts of kindness, something as insignificant as a smile will make someone’s day. Tip your hat to a passing woman and say, “Ma’am,” the way John Wayne did in all those westerns, and you will be a saint (or you might be labeled a sexist pig by someone who thinks you should be thrown in jail and horsewhipped). Carry a plastic grocery bag of your dog’s poop in the park, and you will be nominated for citizen of the year. Volunteer for a shift at the local food bank, and you may receive a chorus of “For he’s a jolly good fellow.” Hold the door open for an elderly woman struggling with bulging shopping bags, and you are a sterling citizen. Flip a coin, for whatever we do or don’t do may prompt a rave or a rant. It’s fifty-fifty.
Perhaps the pandemic made us a touch grumpy. Lately, people are especially prone to complain about potholes, late mail delivery, loud leaf blowers, airplane noise, and about every little annoyance one might imagine. We complain about drivers who appear to be using their phones with one hand and steering with the other, inaccurate weather reports, neighbors who feed the birds, municipalities that are slow in changing the street light bulbs, neighbors who keep snakes, neighbors who play loud music, neighbors who don’t trim their hedges, people who have neck tattoos, people who talk too loudly, people who don’t talk loudly enough, the price of eggs, and so on. After reading that column over the years, I doubt that there is a way to avoid annoying someone over the slightest conduct. “Do I dare to eat a peach?” Conclusion: people are annoyed by almost anything one does or doesn’t do. You may annoy someone if you smile, or frown, or show indifference. If you live to please others, you’re doomed. If you live to comment on the shortcomings of others, you are equally doomed.
I have always favored the kudos, the raves. Usually praise is bestowed for thoughtfulness: a librarian who took extra efforts to find the apposite book for a special needs student, a mail carrier who delivers the mail to the house rather than the street letterbox because the resident has a hard time walking, a kid who stands up for a bullied friend, a coach who plays the second-string players after the score gets out of reach. A special rave to those thoughtful people who interrupt their day to stop for a stray dog or cat in hopes to find its owner and to save the life of an innocent animal. Health care employees get lots of raves for doing their jobs with a personal touch for their patients. Assign yourself the job of picking up trash in your local park, and people will applaud and give you thumbs-up.
For those who enjoy a good rant, including me, a timeout might be in order. Complaining can be good for all of us, but is it too much to ask to keep our powder dry until it is important? And for those of you who delight with thank-yous and encouragement, rave on, rave on.
Other than ranting or raving, another choice presents itself. One may choose the non-judgmental approach. Sometimes a good long ‘Meh!” is just the thing.